The Social Sex

June 15, 2015
Yalom (How the French Invented Love) and Brown digest impressive swaths of literature as they investigate the bonds between historical women, making the bulk of the book a showcase of exemplary pairs that examines the lives of medieval nuns, early modern French literati, American social activists, and political wives, among others. Later chapters speculate on modern developments such as female roommates forming “friendship households” and online social networks reconfiguring relationships. While the history demonstrates that, at any given moment, the cultural paradigm shapes how women express their devotion—from effusive “romantic friendships” among 19th-century women to online connections forged by social media among women today—the authors suggest that the “essentials of female friendship have remained constant through the centuries.” This sweeping, lighthearted, highly readable survey hints that beyond proximity, shared interests, and “reciprocity,” there is still some lovely mystery to what binds the “noncarnal union of similar souls.” Yalom and Brown confirm that “the benefits of friendship as an educational, ennobling, and personally satisfying experience” have been, and always will be, a “prized staple” of women’s lives. Agent: Sandra Dijkstra, Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

June 1, 2015

With this work, coauthors Yalom (A History of the Wife; A History of the Breast) and Brown (Summitville) promise a history of female friendship, an ambitious project that varies in depth and complexity. Especially in the early chapters, the authors gloss over now-recognized female authors in favor of men's versions of women (e.g., William Shakespeare's female characters receive ample attention) and unintentionally reinforce stereotypes about early modern women. This history also straddles the line between anachronism and empathy. While compelling theoretical claims are asserted about the nature of female friendships, at times they fall victim to contemporary ideas about sexuality, even as they acknowledge them. (This is particularly evident in the chapter on Romantic poetry and female romance). Many of these difficulties may have been obviated, and a more nuanced exploration of female friendship created, if Yalom and Brown had taken the material from their epilog, which identifies affection, self-revelation, physical contact, and interdependence as touchstones of female relationships, and used it to create a framework for the book. VERDICT This treatment is a comprehensive overview of friendship among women; while its expansiveness makes it a fun and exhilarating read, at times the narrative lacks specificity.--Emily Bowles, Building for Kids Children's Museum, Appleton, WI

Copyright 2015 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

September 1, 2015
Prior to the seventeenth century, when more women learned to write, nearly one in 10 members of the female population were illiterate and often separated, with their spouses, from family. Hence, they depended on other women, the social sex, for news and comfort. This history of such friendships starts with the Bible, in part 1, When the Public Face of Friendship Was Male, and moves on to When Women's Friendships Entered into History (e.g., among nuns and romantic friends, in clubs such as quilting gatherings) and contemporary women in part 3, Face-to-Face in the Twenty-First Century. The authors touch on trends, literature, and individuals in this astute, well-balanced, and fact-filled ode to the companionship of women, from dedicated biblical followers to laundry-hanging gossipmongers to lovers to dedicated helpmates quite like none other. Yet, as Yalom notes in the preface, even today, many women still need permission (from husbands, fathers, etc.) to meet with friends, if they are allowed to have them at all. Most women can't imagine life without their female friends; this detailed, entertaining book provides the backbone for such sturdy, enduring relationships.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2015, American Library Association.)