Selfish, Shallow, and Self-absorbed

October 26, 2015
Contrary to the title, none of the 16 essays in this absorbing collection reflect particularly selfish or shallow motivations for childlessness. Instead, the writers explore the challenges, considerations, and opportunities their lives have afforded them by choosing not to have children. The essays range from the emotional to the practical to the philosophical, but combine to provide a meaningful dialogue about why people choose not to have kids that challenge some typical representations of child-free adults. Voice actors Perrin and Heller make a great pair for the audio edition, with Perrin reading essays written by women and Heller covering the male authors. With only three essays by men, Heller has the lighter job, but still captures the tone and rhythm of each essay. Perrin has the bigger challenge, providing the voice and perspective of each of the 13 women writers. At times, the essays blur together, but her delivery is always confident and clear. Listeners will never be bored.
A Picador hardcover.

January 12, 2015
Contrary to the title, none of the 16 essays in this absorbing collection reflect particularly selfish or shallow motivations for childlessness. As Daum points out in her introduction, she and the other writers surveyed here “are neither hedonists nor ascetics,” nor “do we hate children.” Some entries are heart-wrenching—especially Elliott Holt’s “Just an Aunt”—while others are downright hilarious. Geoff Dyer announces that he’s “had only two ambitions in life: to put on weight (it’s not going to happen) and never to have children (which, so far, I’ve achieved).” He pegs the latter goal in part to his reaction to the argument that having children gives life meaning, which rests on an assumption he doesn’t share: “that life needs a meaning or purpose!” In one of the more rigorous and thoughtful essays, Laura Kipnis deftly argues that the so-called maternal instinct is really a “socially organized choice masquerading as a natural one.” Pam Houston questions the familiar social message that encourages women to “have it all” by juggling motherhood and a fulfilling career. Elegantly giving voice to her childlessness, she observes that “love, like selfishness and generosity, is not exclusive to one demographic; it infuses every single thing we do and are.”